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Golf in space, man shoots own privates and panto genie is too fat December 28, 2006

Posted by grhomeboy in Media.

A learner driver who only has partial eyesight has been barred from driving after neighbours dubbed him Mr Magoo. Peter Davis of Burry Port, south Wales, who has just 50 per cent vision in one eye and 45 per cent in the other, terrified locals after his car crashed into a garden fence and mounted a kerb. But despite failing an eye test Davis told Men and Motors: “My driving is perfect. It has taken me about four years to get this far and I don’t think I’m far off my test.”

Most people in charge of getting the family ready for Christmas could probably have told you this themselves, but the average mother spends 13 days preparing for Christmas. According to a survey conducted by Kaleidoscope catalogue, mums spend 288 hours shopping, 4.19 hours wrapping presents, 3.03 hours decorating the house, 4.27 hours preparing the Christmas lunch and 4.38 hours cooking it. Phew, no wonder one in five said they hated the festive season.

As well as carrying out important repair errands, astronauts at the International Space Station have managed to squeeze in some time to play golf in space. Astronaut Mikhail Tyurin will hit the golf ball as part of a commercial activity, and it is expected to orbit the Earth for three days before entering the Earth’s atmosphere and burning up.

Being a criminal obviously brings its own risks, but a would-be kidnapper probably wasn’t expecting to shoot himself in the testicles. The 23-year-old Wichita man attempted to kidnap a teenager over a dispute about stereo speakers and fired a shot at the victim. But when he jammed the gun back into his trousers he accidentally fired a shot into his privates and then into his calf. According to the Wichita Eagle the man was arrested after he walked (limped, surely?!) into a medical centre seeking help.

Panto season is nearly upon us, but one man who won’t be taking part as much as he would like to is Alan Myatt. The 23-stone man was meant to play the genie at Gloucester’s New Olympus Theatre, but, despite a widening of the trap door, he is simply too big for the role. He told the Daily Mirror: “I’m just too big to be the genie anymore. The time has come to hang up my lamp. I’m not as agile as I used to be.”

Some people may not regard it as a sport, but the world champion of the rock, paper, scissors game is hoping to win the Sports Personality of the Year competition. According to 28-year-old Bob Cooper, winning the championships is down to “hard work, training and lots of research into tactics, body language and basic psychology”. He told the BBC: “Hopefully I could get nominated for Sports Personality of the Year, or we could begin a campaign to reopen nominations.”

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